A PHYSICAL TRAINER WHO SHARES HER STORIES OF
COMING OUT AND OVERCOMING an EATING DISORDER
FROM AUSTRALIA TO CANADA, culturally LIVING OUTSIDE HER COMFORT ZONE:
"I took off to Canada with nowhere to live and no job lined up. I was open to whatever came along and never thought I would fall in love with a country so much! However, living in Canada as an Australian instantly meant that I was living outside of my comfort zone. The cold has taken on a whole new meaning, and as a result, I am very appreciative whenever the sun comes out. But my family and loved ones are far away and this definitely has an impact on me. I miss the important moments, such as birthdays, weddings, births and even funerals. While this is really hard for me, I believe it has challenged me to find strength within myself, to appreciate every single moment I have on this Earth and to live each day as though it was my last.
"I try to avoid the “fluff” in relationships: the boring, light conversation that doesn’t tell me much about the person or tell them anything about myself."
So, when I care about someone, I tell them. When someone hurts my feelings, I also tell them. I try to avoid the “fluff” in relationships: the boring, light conversation that doesn’t tell me much about the person or tell them anything about myself. I believe fluff is a killer of any long term relationship because it is necessary to know people on a deeper level. I love when I ask someone, “How are you?” and they actually respond with a real answer, rather than hide the reality of how they actually feel. The reality of comfort zones is you can stay in them forever, but where is the fun in that? I left my comfort zone because I wanted to live a fuller, more honest life."
ON COMING OUT:
"One of the most vulnerable moments of my life was coming out and feeling comfortable admitting that I am gay. I struggled, like many, to come to terms with this. I had never really known any other families who had a gay daughter growing up, which made it all more difficult for me to come out.
When I finally did come to terms with this, the next step was to tell the people in my life who deserved to know. I guess somewhere in my head I had this pre-conceived idea that I would be treated differently, that I would not be loved as much, or that my being gay would always linger as a secret. The risk I took in confessing who I was felt "wrong" and was overwhelming at the time. But in looking back, all of these doubts and fears were stories that I built up in my mind. I could not have been more fortunate with how my close friends and family took the news."
"One of THE most vulnerable moments of my life was coming out and feeling comfortable admitting that I am gay."
ON LOSING A FRIEND AFTER COMING OUT:
"For two consecutive summers, I worked at a religious summer camp. I remember sitting down at the front gate of the camp with a friend who was very religious. He was sweating and his voice was shaking. He told me he loved me and wanted our friendship to be much more than it was. At this time in my life, I was still struggling with my sexuality, but felt we were good enough friends to tell him the truth. I felt close enough him to him to tell him that I was gay, but that I absolutely wanted to continue being friends. Unfortunately, this was not an option for him. He could not be friends with someone who was gay and, in fact, said he was disgusted to love someone who was gay."
"I have fallen, countless times. And I am sure of only one thing, which is that each time I fall, my comeback is that much stronger."
ON overcoming her eating disorder:
"I have fallen, countless times. And I am sure of only one thing, which is that each time I fall, my comeback is that much stronger. When I developed a binge eating disorder, each new binge felt like a whole new failure. Every time it happened, I had to start over and rebuild all the hard work I had put into overcoming this disorder. But each time I fell back, I learned from my past failures and used these experiences as building blocks.
In the end, I've come back stronger and more determined to overcome my disorder. Not allowing my battle with this disorder to ever be a weakness played a huge role in recovering from it."
"Not allowing my BATTLE WITH THIS DISORDER to EVER be A weakNESS played a huge role in RECOVERING FROM IT."
ON FEARING NOT BEING ENOUGH:
"I have this fear that I will somehow disappoint someone. Maybe I won’t be able to give back enough. Maybe I won’t know someone’s needs in time. Maybe the opportunity to inspire someone on a deeper level will pass right by me.
I am thankful for this fear though because I believe it pushes me to always strive to do more, to always push my limits and to surround myself with “bigger” people to never get too comfortable. Comfortable is boring."
FREEDOM IS SUCCESS:
"Recently, my beautiful girlfriend Kelsi and I have been practicing multiple mantras that we picked up from several inspirational people whom we either know personally or discovered from reading their books. Together, we picked one that stands out and speaks to us the most: