Connection and Disconnection.


In a time of personal growth and transformation, our true supporters do not always turn out to be the ones we expected.

Along with transformation, usually comes a shift in values. It is a liberating feeling to deliberately choose to live by values that are intrinsic to our core beliefs. But it is likely that this freedom to choose our own belief system may be a perceived threat to another. Why a threat? Because everyone, to some extent, believes they hold the truest set of values and beliefs to live by. To be confronted by someone who chooses to walk away from one set of beliefs towards a new one leaves them questioning their own, causing doubt and fear. It opens the door to other possible belief systems. And this very idea alone is a scary thought because it means that their reality is uncertain. In truth, there is no absolute belief system and each one of our belief systems is uncertain.

It is almost inevitable that as we grow and transform that we will naturally connect with those with whom we share similar beliefs and values, and disconnect from those with whom we differ with. So yes, our true supporters do not always turn out to be the ones we expected because in times of change and transformation we have shifting values that cause us to connect and to disconnect from others. It’s hard to accept this because sometimes it may entail feeling disconnected from a loved one: a once close friend, a parent, a sibling…

But who knows? Maybe in a new period of transformation, we will reconnect again with loved ones over new values. Because that’s the thing: our values and beliefs are never static.

By Charlotte Haimes